


Give me love

by hazzard



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Philinda Secret Summer, That's it, angst and despair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2016-08-02
Packaged: 2018-07-28 23:34:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7661545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hazzard/pseuds/hazzard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>written for the secret summer, @philmelinda, based on the song "Give me love" by Ed Sheeran. </p><p>hope you enjoy! xx</p></blockquote>





	Give me love

He had never meant for this to happen.

He felt lost. He didn't know much about all the details, but he knew he'd died. He remembered dying. In a way, it still felt like he was dead.

He'd woken up in a hospital somewhere, with Nick Fury standing beside his bed. The anxiety had riddled through his body, and he'd had trouble getting any words out. Nick had looked at him, and if he hadn't known any better, he could've sworn it was concern and sorrow flashing through his former S.O.'s facial expression. 

"Welcome back. Thought I'd lost you there for a minute."

Phil remembered looking at Fury and seeing every emotion disappear from his eyes.

"What happened?"

"You almost died." Fury might've seen cool and casual to anyone else, but Phil could see the tension in his jaw. "Loki put his weird scepter through your heart, and, well..." Fury shrugged.

 _What?_ This surely couldn't be happening. This was a dream. A nightmare. He'd wake up any minute now. He'd feel Audrey hug him tight from behind while she'd be whispering calming words in his ear, any minute now, he'd wake up, any minute now, any minute, any...

"No." Fury slightly tilted his head and just looked at him. Phil kept pinching himself. This was a dream, it wasn't really happening. " _No._ " He looked up at Fury. "Where's Audrey? I need to speak to her. Where is she? She's expecting a call, I have to call, she'll be worried, I have to..."

Fury put a hand on his shoulder, cutting him off. "It's better this way."

Phil furrowed. "What way?"

Fury wouldn't met his eyes. Fear struck through Phil again. "What did you do?"

Fury didn't answer. "Tell me, Nick. What did you do?"

Fury still wouldn't answer. The fear turned to rage. "What did you do, Nick? What did you _do?_ You tell me right now, _right now_ , I swear to God I'll make you bleed if you don't TELL ME RIGHT NOW."

He hesitated. Fury _never_ hesitated. "Phil..."

_"NOW."_

"She thinks you're dead."

His heart froze. "No." He shook his head. "You wouldn't do that to me. You _wouldn't._ This is a dream. This isn't really happening, it's not..."

Fury met his eyes again. "This way, she'll be safe."

Rage filled him to the brim. This wasn't a dream. "You had _no right._ "

Fury just looked at him. "Yes, I did. You decided to be part of this organisation, to save people, no matter the cost. That's what you promised."

Phil shook his head. "Not this. I never promised _this._ "

Fury crossed his arms. "Sometimes that cost will rob us of everything we have. But we still have to pay."

Phil felt all the air being sucked out of his lungs. Suddenly, it hit him. "What about... _She_ doesn't think I'm... does she?"

Fury tilted his head again, eyebrows slightly raised. "I may be cold, but I'm not _completely_ heartless."

 

He'd lost count of how many glasses of whiskey he'd drank. He felt the alcohol burn his entire body.

He'd promised not to call her. He'd sworn on his almost grave that he would not call her.

But that had been... some drinks ago.

He picked up the phone.

It rang for so long, he was almost about to chicken out and hang up, but then he heard her voice. 

"May."

She sounded like she always did. Professional, cool. He hadn't heard her voice in two months. It was the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard.

"Fury?"

Right, he'd called from Fury's phone. His own was covered in his blood and also otherwise completely useless.

"No, it's... it's me."

Silence. 

He tried again. "I mean, me as in Phil, your stupid friend who almost got himself killed. Ring any bells?"

Still, silence. 

He suddenly felt self conscious. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called, it's..." He casted a glance at the clock on the wall and his eyes widened. "Oh god, it's almost 4am, god, Melinda, I'm sorry, I'm gonna go now, I'm...

"Shut up, Phil."

He felt himself nod. "Yes, ma'am."

Melinda took a breath before continuing. "I almost thought I'd lost you there."

"I know, and I'm sorry..." he began before getting cut off.

"I prefer you alive."

He sat down on his bed. "I know."

It was quiet for a couple of seconds. The kind of quiet that was filled with words.

"Are you ok, Phil?" Her voice was so filled with concern, his heart stung. 

"Can you..." He stopped, trying to gather enough courage to let the words slip out of his body.

"Phil?" There it was again, the concern. He took a deep breath and swallowed. "I just got home and it's quiet and I feel so alone and I..." He took another breath. "Could you come over?"

Silence again. _Shit._ He'd crossed the line. He'd _definitely_ crossed the line.

"Phil..."

"I know, I know" he said hurriedly, "but I need you, just tonight, just for _one night..._ "

He was an ass. "I'm sorry. That's so inappropriate. We haven't done that since the academy, it's _such_ a long time ago, and you're still hurting from your breakup with Andrew and Audrey... Well, I'm still hurting from... having to let her go, and I should've never called and this was stupid and I'm..."

"Phil."

He was almost scared to answer her. "Yes?"

He heard some rustling through the phone. _What was she doing?_

"Give me 20 minutes."

Then she hang up.

**Author's Note:**

> written for the secret summer, @philmelinda, based on the song "Give me love" by Ed Sheeran. 
> 
> hope you enjoy! xx


End file.
